Sunday, August 12, 2007

At the U.S. P.G.A. Championship

At the U.S. P.G.A. Championship, odd happenings occurred,
Like on the first day, Curtis hit a birdie on the third.
He thought that it was dead, as everybody round the pin did,
But after giving mouth-to-mouth, they said it was just winded.

Mickelson and Davis Love were going round together.
Each of them were dressed quite irrespective of the weather.
Mickelson looked pretty drab, while practising his swing,
But Love, in total contrast, was a many-splendour’s thing.

A wasp flew right up Monty’s leg, which caused him great alarm.
He had to whip his clothes off, lest it caused him any harm.
No longer did this canny Scot look confident and jaunty,
And many in the crowd felt ill, on seeing the Full Monty.

Padraig hit his ball into a rough spot on the course,
Where several home appliances were dumped amid the gorse.
His ball was quite unplayable, and Padraig started cryin’
When after several practice strokes, he went and hit an iron.

Bruce Springsteen wouldn’t publicise how much he stood to gain.
He had a good few dollars on young Tomas Bjorn, the Dane.
When asked why he had plumped for him, the Boss was heard to say,
“It’s always been so good for me – Bjorn in the USA.”

Bernhard Langer went around accompanied by his son,
But in the heat, the little Langer nearly came undone.
“I really need a cup of tea,” he whispered to his Daddy.
“That’s not a problem,” Bernhard said, “I’ll go and get the caddy.”

Woosnam was quite hungry as his ball flew out of sight.
It landed in a bunker, which increased his appetite.
“Would you like a sand-wedge, Ian?” his caddy asked with ease.
“Thanks,” replied the golfer, “Make it lettuce, ham and cheese.”

Sadly, you could hear poor Tiger coughing from afar.
The record breaking superstar was feeling under par.
His nose was full of rocks, but he was trying not to pick it,
But eventually he sought the private shelter of a thicket.

The lump that he picked from his nose was very large and round.
It nearly broke his wrist when he did flick it to the ground.
There it lay for two whole days until a wayward snail
Did cover it with whitish gunk, secreted in its trail.

Stadler was not certain where his wayward drive did fall.
He came upon this object and he thought it was his ball.
As he struck it sweetly, the offending object burst,
And that is how Craig Stadler hit a bogey on the first.

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